After 11 weeks in some sort of a cast on my right foot, I am finally free. Free!

What a relief… But now the work begins. I got the okay to not sue my air cast any longer on Monday and yesterday I jumped right into PT. I’m done with laying and sitting around and ready to be outdoors walking and enjoying Mother Nature.

Right before I fell, I had been walking 3 – 4 days a week, mostly on the trails at Parker River National Wildlife Refuge, and I am itching to get back on those trails.

Years ago I walked 4 – 5 days week, when my daughter was young and it was so healing for me: body, mind and soul. I was just starting to feel the endorphins kick in after about 3 – 4 weeks of walking when I fell.

My physical therapist asked what my goals were yesterday and I told her walking. As we talked more, I explained to her that I have a dream in the back of my mind that I would like to see come to fruition in the next couple of years and that is to walk The Camino.

I explained that I had recently watched The Way, and it renewed my desire to make the trek:

Click here to view the embedded video.

One day at a time for now… slowly, steadily building up strength, flexibility, balance and agility. Walking The Camino is no walk in the park, it is in fact a pilgrimage or spiritual adventure, depending on your religious views or lack there of.

I can honestly say now that I am starting to build up my strength again, the past 11 weeks were truly a very difficult time in my life. I am grateful to have had a really good orthopedic doctor who immediately recognized my injury as a Lisfranc sprain. it’s a complicated injury, that will takes weeks of PT to finish my recovery.

And then… Well, there’s trails at Parker River, Maudslay and elsewhere where I can make a type of daily pilgrimage to feed my body, mind and soul with the healing, loving nature of the Mother.

And so… the Mid-Life Crisis Adventure continues…

(Photo: Hellcat Swamp Trail ~ c. Pamela J. Leavey 2012)

When we give our heart to someone, we never expect it to get trounced on.

Marianne Williamson says in A Return To Love:

“Love is a participatory emotion.”

It takes two people to participate however… and if one isn’t showing up in that relationship… Well, it wasn’t love to begin with, was it?

(Photo: Osprey’s Nesting at the Parker River National Wildlife Refuge ~ c. Pamela J. Leavey 2012)

Today I remind myself that there is beauty in everything I see. The old red barn slated to be torn down… beautiful. The spring flowers, bursting their way through winter’s muted palette… beautiful. Take the time to stop, look and listen. Love and life and all around me. ~ Pamela J. Leavey

(Photo: Red Barn Doors on Point SHore in Amesbury, MA ~ c. Pamela J. Leavey 2012)

Chris Isaak in a 1991 appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno sitting in for Johnny Carson.  Doc Severinsen is featured on trumpet for this live performance of Blue Spanish Sky:

Click here to view the embedded video.

One of my favorite Chris Isaak songs… I must admit to being a big fan of Chris Isaak for many years, always making a point of catching one of his performances in L.A. year after year.

I’ll never forget the first time I saw Chris perform at what was then the Universal Amphitheater (now the Gibson), the audience was filled with a lot of 30-something year old women all swooning over him… self included. That show was probably around the same time as this performance was filmed.

Enjoy…

It’s a grey day here on the river today, with snow falling for the past 24 hours now. I have been reflecting today on losing something you think you found but really didn’t. In the blink of an eye, the sun shone through the clouds and lifted my heart up into the heavens, and I basked it’s warm and comfortable embrace…

And then it slipped away, back through the clouds and left me bereft of understanding as to where it went. But, alas, I do know that nothing in life is ever permanent. We struggle with loss and grief, and naturally we should. We learn from loss and grief, and naturally we should. And then, we move on.

Life is the grand hall of learning. It shapes who we are, and leaves us all with indelible impressions, called memories, that give us pause to reflect. We can reflect on the sadness, but we must always remember the joy.

(Photo: Parker River National Wildlife Refuge Afternoon ~ c. Pamela J. Leavey 2011)

When I look to the skies, I often see very magical formations in clouds like the one below that looks a bit like a rainbow colored lightening bolt seen through the the bare trees:

When I see rainbows, my heart lifts up to the heavens in a sort of communion with the universe that fills me with joy.

It’s so important to find joy in the little things in life, as I have noted here in my Daily Affirmation today, and my Food For Thought post yesterday.

We go through life sometimes in a very numb state of mind, in that we forgot to look to the skies for rainbows or stop and smell the flowers.

I learned a long time ago that in being in the moment, you place your heart and soul in alignment with the opportunity to experience and feel joy. To be in the moment takes constant work and practice on living with an open mind and an open heart.

Awakening to joy, seeing rainbows is a great balm to the soul when we learn to look to even the littlest things to fill our hearts and minds with love and gratitude.

(Photo: Rainbow Bolt Through the Trees ~ c. Pamela J. Leavey 2012)

When I look at bare trees, I see ever moving, ever changing limbs of life that are preparing to bloom again. For, they have their seasons just as we do. Our lives are indeed ever moving, ever changing and in that movement and growth we grow as a tree grows.

Sometimes we feel as though our lives are caught in some strange vortex, in which we liquify, as the bare limbs in the photo above have been.

We feel our selves spinning around, flowing in every which way, unable to grasp a bare branch and hold on. It takes our breath away. It confuses our senses. It is ego, fear manifest. Be it brief or lingering, we simply want the whirling to stop.

Give in to the vortex, take the ride… Understand that all things in life happen for a reason, and there are lessons to be learned.

I always know, deep down in my heart and soul, that if I am lost, I will be found. And I will be stronger for the wild ride in the vortex of life…

Namaste… Pamela

(Photo: Hawk Silhouette in Vortex Tree ~~ c. Pamela J. Leavey 2012)

When the heart and soul are weary with worries and cares, we think often to wall our selves in and in truth we sometimes build a dam around our selves. But that dam we build to shut out the world and worries that have dragged us down, also shuts out the light.

Today, I re-mind myself that in the light I am healed.

Today, I re-mind myself that no walls, no dam can hold me in or keep me down.

(Photo: Beaver Dam at Hellcat Swamp, Parker River Wildlife Refuge ~~ c. Pamela J. Leavey 2012)

Today, I am so grateful for all the love in my life. Love is the reason on every day, in every season, that we all celebrate life. Blessed Be ~~ Pamela J. Leavey

(Photo: January Bouquet ~ c. Pamela J. Leavey 2012)

Searching through some old Word docs recently I found some of my poetry that I had put into Word docs from my journals. This one called out to be shared…

Gift Of Life

Love,
Be it an expression,
A word,
A thought,
A feeling;
Used oft by some,
Not by others.
For many it be
The truth that sets,
Them free.
For some it be
The chains,
That binds them.
Love,
To my tenet,
Be my gift
Of life.
For, I am free,
To love,
You;
And, all who touch
My soul
With the clarity
That each expression,
Be my gift
Of life,
To share with joy,
And oft
Forgiveness
In my heart.

(Gift Of Life & Red Day Lily ~~ c. Pamela J. Leavey)