Food For Thought: On Friendship Online and Offline
March 5, 2015
I spend an inordinate amount of time online. With four websites and long time social media presence, I’ve come to know a lot of people over the many years I have been online. Many of my online friendships have actually manifested into offline friendships as well. The fact is, the opportunity to meet like-minded people online is exponentially wider than it is in the average person’s offline life.
I enjoy the fact that I can meet and learn from people all over the country, let alone the world. I value the friendships I have made online. I enjoy sharing information, discussion and sometimes debate with these friends on a multitude of topics.
Yet, there is always something lacking in an online conversation, and Sherry Turkle nails that with her post on the NY Times Room For Debate section: Only Face-to-Face Friendships Involve Real Emotions. Turkle notes:
Face-to-face friendship is risky. It doesn’t make emotions easy. It makes emotions into, well, emotions. An in-person exchange cultivates empathy because you are able to experience the whole person, the tone of their voice, the way they hold their body, the way they respond to you. It demands vulnerability — there is no “just right” distance available when someone makes demands right now. And without the benefit of editing, we are more likely to show ourselves as we are, not as who we want to be.
There is another aspect which we lack in the online friendship that is prevalent with the offline friendship. Beyond the physical aspects of witnessing of body language and eye movement, there is touch. When you are in the presence of friends, touch happens. And touch is vital to our well-being as humans. A special sort of communion happens between humans when our senses are given the gift of verbal and physical communication.
All of my relationships online and offline are valuable to me, but I recognize that special connection that Sherry Turkle notes exists with the offline friendship. It is vital to us all because in truth, “the unedited life is the one worth living.”
Food for thought…
