Twice Rejected

A year ago, I applied for an MFA in Creative Writing at a local university. I was rejected (re: large pool of applicants), but encouraged to apply again this year. I applied again in January feeling hopeful with a stronger personal statement and writing sample.

Yesterday, I was rejected again (re: large pool of applicants). Given my age, I imagine that most or all of the applicants are much younger than me, though not any more qualified academically or a better writer than me. Not to mention, possessing the life experience I do.

I just needed to get that off my chest. I know I am a solid MFA candidate, and I’m disheartened and a bit dumbfounded. When I was in my second to last semester for my M.A. in English Creative Writing, I had planned to apply for my M.F.A. then, but my eldest sister passed away, and I had also been homeless for a few months living with a cousin until I could find a place to live that I could afford.

Needless to say, the applications didn’t get done, and I opted to take a year off before moving on with my M.F.A. I love being in school, learning, discussing interests with like minded writers and academics. I found my love for academia later in life, but I still feel the urge to keep going.

However, at the moment, all the usual self doubt is rambling through my head like some frenzied improvisational jazz, or worse, a thousand car horns blaring. I honestly can’t say I know right now what is next for me, but twice in a row, I’ve been rejected and for now I’ll just sit with that and take it from there another day. Because today, things really feel askew.