February 25, 2012
As I sit here with so much uncertainty in my life, it’s hard to see clearly what the next chapter of my Mid-Life Adventure entails.
Talk about being stuck in a rut… when you end up with a sudden, accidental injury that leaves you disabled for a time, it is a life changing experience in itself. Couple that with empty nest syndrome and being out of work and it’s easy to feel some days, no matter how positive you try to stay, as though the whole world is crashing in around you.
There are days when it is just plain hard to focus. Either there is energy bursting to get out in some creative or physical form, or the mind just goes blank as you seek the light hiding behind the clouds.
Sometimes life just seems so unfair, although you look around and see that so many people struggles are worst than your own. Yet, you stay stuck in that woe is me syndrome… sadness can strike even the strongest of heart and mind.
Drifting, drifting, drifting… the dark nights of the soul, when faith is tested in so many ways, are long and seemingly endless.
There are those who would say to you… Snap out if it. But you can’t. There are those who would tell you… This too shall pass. And you do know deep down inside that it will.
So, you ride the tide of uncertainly, as it wanes and crests and blows through you like the wickedest of winds. And, when the question arises, what is next in this Mid-Life Adventure for me… Truth be told, I have no answers today. I’m busy pondering the great uncertainties on my doorstep and hoping the winds won’t blow me further off course.
(Photo: Afternoon Sky at Parker River National Wildlife Refuge ~~ c. Pamela J. Leavey 2012)
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