Pamela Leavey

words and pictures....

A Shadow of Myself

A Shadow of Myself

Here I stand, 
a shadow of myself,
looking for a familiar posture.

A shadow of myself 
peers through the lens 
of my camera

Looking for 
the woman
I used to be.

I, the me’s
I used to be,
strong and tenacious. 

Now I stand shakily 
on solid ground.
A shadow of myself. 

Strength replaced
by pain and worry.
I am but a shadow of myself. 

In my mind
my thoughts drift back
to the me’s I used to be.

Now I see shadows
where I was once
strong. 

Now I see shadows,
my tenacity
is gone. 

Here I stand, 
a shadow of myself,
looking for a familiar connection.

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Within Silence My Voice Dwells

Within silence my voice dwells.
My voice, it swirls around in my head,
and spins so swiftly,
it is hard to get it all
down on paper.
Most times the task seems
Insurmountable. 

I need to think like a river,
rapidly rushing by
and take pause to hear, 
write,
and speak
the words I hear
in silence. 

My mind is never silent.
it rushes like the river
to the sea. 
There is silence 
in the river
as it 
rushes by.

The river, 
always in motion,
it makes nary a sound
but within it
dwells power, a force
that flows like words
on paper. 
Merrimack River, Amesbury, Massachusetts

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Quote of the Day: Aldous Huxley

Peace, love, joy – these, according to St. Paul, are the three fruits of the spirit. They correspond very closely to the three essential attributes of God, as summarized in the Indian formula, sat, chit, ananda – being, knowledge, bliss. Peace is the manifestation of unified being. Love is the mode of divine knowledge. And bliss, the concomitant of perfection, is the same as joy. ~ Aldous Huxley: Huxley and God

orange poppy
Orange Poppy

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Spring Tulips in My 2021 Pandemic Garden

In early November 2020, I planted about 100 bulbs in my first year pandemic garden. My elbow has never been quite the same after all that digging, but it was well worth the nagging pain that comes and goes with over use. Having lived in my apartment since fall 2018, I had not gardened at all. But like many stuck at home from the COVID pandemic, I found myself longing to garden so that I could be outside and not around other people. Who knew back then that COVID would drag out so long. I didn’t.

I was delighted by the bulbs that sprouted up last spring, and spent a lot of time last spring and summer photographing the flowers in my garden. I did series of the same flowers from bud until they passed on. I did series of pollinators feeding on the flowers in my gardens. I whiled away the time, staying safe at home, with my gardens and my camera.

(more…)

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Writers On Writing: Phillip Lopate

When writing a first-person narrative, we can turn to Phillip Lopate’s essay “On the Necessity of Turning Oneself into a Character” (Griffin 15) for ideas on how we can use our “character” to tell our story. In his essay, “On the Necessity of Turning Oneself into a Character,” Phillip Lopate writes on why he feels it is necessary to “turn oneself into a character” when writing nonfiction from the first person narrative perspective.

Indeed, Lopate posits that “the people on the page—it scarcely matters whether they appear in fiction or nonfiction—will need to be knowable enough in their broad outlines to behave “believably,” at the same times as free willed enough to intrigue us with surprises.” (Griffin p. 15) In other words, readers need someone or something to identify with and connect with when they read a nonfiction essay or a piece of fiction.

We are all unique beings, and as Lopate says, “Who wants to read about that bland creature, the regular Joe?” (Griffin p. 16) My thoughts when reading Lopate’s essay drifted to my own characteristics and behavior that sets me apart from others. It is precisely because I am a “character,” one who is unique and different, as so many who know me say, that I write sometimes with ease and other times with trepidation, from the self, sharing my idiosyncrasies’ in the form of the word. I write to unburden my heart and soul. I write in speculation, to share my life, my knowledge and my experience that I might touch even just one person with my words that they may know there is someone else out there who might feel what they feel and cannot themselves commit to words.

(more…)

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Reflections: Switching Things Up

I’ve been working this week on switching things up a little. Change is always good, I believe. It gives us a chance to get rid of things that no longer work for us and start something new. Or it gets us back into an old habit that we dropped and needed to put back in our lives. Or maybe we start a new relationship or find a new job. Whatever the change is, when you set your mind to switching things up, stuff happens, because intent works. Coincidences happen for a reason. All that stuff, that reminds us that the Universe is working in our favor. Oh, that the Universe always worked in our favor. Wouldn’t that be grand. We should all be so lucky, but life and the Universe don’t work that way. So when it does, remember to be grateful for the changes that happen for the better. I like to think that when things go wrong, something better will come along. It usually works out that way, think about that a little…

There’s an old French Proverb, “Gratitude is the heart’s memory.” How beautifully true that sentiment is, for when we ware grateful, our heart soars. When we switch things up a little, our mind is soaring to new heights, heading in new directions. It is freeing. It is liberating. As we lift off from the ground on our new adventure, we feel the air around us changing. Our hearts are beating like the beating of wings, repetitively and reverberant. We fly on, grateful…

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